5 years ago I decided to make a change in my life. I was pushing 250 pounds and wore size 42 pants. I was extremely depressed and had little desire for anything. A black cloud hung over me. Also, I was pre-diabetic. If one ever finds himself doing blood-tests to check glucose levels, something is wrong. That would be your wake up call! I remember getting on a basketball court and how my knees and back hurt and how slow I felt. The agility was gone and certainly the endurance. I was a shadow of my former athletic self. 10 years before I was a pretty good basketball player How could this happen ? Slowly and surely, that's how.
Bicycling was on the periphery of my life a few years before that, around 2004 or 2005. Casual rides around the neighborhood or on the Silver Comet Trail happened without much thought. I remembered what it was like to have fun with exercise and feel like a kid again. I always had a blast with bikes when I was a kid, as do most kids. Riding around the neighborhood and sometimes through surrounding fields was exhilarating and gave a real sense of freedom. Riding on dirt was more fun somehow. It was more enticing to have available the chance to get muddy or even better, bloody. Exercise was calling to me even though I was the complete opposite of an athlete at age 30. The call was extremely faint but was at least persistent. 12 years earlier I was at my prime playing tennis and basketball in high school, or what I thought was my prime.
"Let's give you a higher dose." This was the doctor's advice. The strength of Paxil was having no effect so naturally the dosage was not high enough. It was only a band aid though. The real problem was my attitude, which frankly sucked. Yes, I was extremely depressed but not helping matters any was my outlook on life. I was happy to play the victim and blame everyone and everything for my problems. Life is so much better and fulfilling when you realize you're the only one in control. Not your boss, government, spouse, parents.
You may be saying to yourself, "Hiott, this doesn't sound like you. Have you joined a hippy cult and drank their sanctimonious airy,fairy kool-aid? The answer is no. I am still my witty, sarcastic, at-times smarmy self with an extremely dry sense of humor that sometimes bites. The only kool-aid I've drank so far has electrolyte tabs in it.
I'm not writing this to give myself a pat on the back. My hope is that someone out there in trouble can read my post and realize that no matter how bad it gets or how dark your days become, there is hope. It hasn't been an easy road. I literally had to get mad at my state of being and I've learned that anger is better than despair. I'm so grateful that I did because I may not even be alive right now to write this. There is so much beauty in life that depression can mask.
Back to the year 2008. Biking more regularly with Renee now on the Silver Comet and around our house in Euharlee. Beautiful countryside out there and an intriguing swamp at the end of one particular country road. I remember that being a difficult bike ride. Also, there was one hill in a neighboring subdivision that was daunting at the time. Now I would probably bike up it no problem. Small and gradual changes over time. Even dragged Renee out on cold nights to bike around with some sort of light set up. Neighbors must have thought we were crazy. Not much has changed because I'm sure our new neighbors in Canton do too. It's okay though, I'm cool with it.
One day I had the idea to take my bike over to Pine Mountain in Cartersville on a Saturday because bikes are only allowed there on Wednesday and Saturday. I felt like I was going on an adventure. I'm pretty sure the climb up Pine Mountain was unbearable and I probably hiked a lot but the feeling of my blood pumping again was invigorating. Then came the downhill, which is where the fun began. Flying down the mountain I'm sure I had a huge grin on my face. ( In retrospect, too bad there isn't more flow at Pine Mountain. Just too many switchbacks.) After that ride, something triggered in me and I knew I had found something special, or it had found me. I called Renee and expressed my tired elation. I went back a few more Saturday's and met a guy there who was a much stronger biker. I tried to keep up with him on the climb but fell far behind. I remember his wise words, "Just keep going." When in a state of extreme pain, if someone tells you to keep going and it's the going that is causing you pain, your brain becomes confused and wants to melt. I'm glad I did keep going though. He also mentioned a place called Blanket's Creek near Woodstock and told me about the sweet trails that were there. It was a foreign concept to me at the time, that a dedicated park was built solely for bike trails. I thought that I would someday need to check out this place.
Also begin to bike the paved trail at Dellinger Park in Cartersville plus there was a monster of a hill across the highway from the park. I used to pretend I was in the Tour de France climbing up that hill. More weird looks from people in cars. Love it! Went to a bike shop in Cartersville called Cycle Therapy, which was appropriately named. There I bought my first mountain bike, a Giant Boulder hardtail.
"Perfect your skills on a hardtail first," they said. (I still ride a hardtail and consider my skills fairly perfected.)
They also mentioned a place called Tsali in North Carolina that was supposed to be a mountain biking mecca. Renee and I went. It was borderline religious for me. I felt a real communion with nature and myself. The utter silence of being out in the woods in the middle of nowhere was invigorating and gave me a much needed break from the constant noise of life. At this time, Renee also became hooked on mountain biking after renting a Specialized (top of the line) bike for her first mountain bike experience. She was riding a limousine and I was on a station wagon.
Next I ventured over to Blanket's Creek Mountain Biking trails in Canton. Talk about discovering a playground. I found myself riding through the woods on a bicycle. It was like being a kid again. Since that day, I have biked all over the South at countless trails but I am still a baby in the sport of mountain biking. There's still so much to learn.
Over the past few years, I have come to enjoy racing and even taking up trail running.
Soon I will enter my first triathlon just because I am that crazy and I want to explore what else is out there.
I have met some really cool people and seen awesome sights out on the trails. People are friendly and encouraging and there's generally a camaraderie that is unmatched. There's an unspoken, "Oh you're out here doing this too. Welcome to the crazy club." Riders respect each other but usually there is friendly competition even on casual rides. Dig it!
It's a great thing to consider myself an athlete again. Hopefully my dream of biking in Colorado will come true this year. Colorado is one of the biking meccas with gorgeous scenery from what I've seen and some sweet trails. I also hear they have some good climbing out there!
From all the pain and suffering I've gone through with biking to the euphoric highs that it takes me to, this has been an amazing journey so far and I feel that it has made me a better person. I can't wait to see what the next 5 years brings.
Bicycling was on the periphery of my life a few years before that, around 2004 or 2005. Casual rides around the neighborhood or on the Silver Comet Trail happened without much thought. I remembered what it was like to have fun with exercise and feel like a kid again. I always had a blast with bikes when I was a kid, as do most kids. Riding around the neighborhood and sometimes through surrounding fields was exhilarating and gave a real sense of freedom. Riding on dirt was more fun somehow. It was more enticing to have available the chance to get muddy or even better, bloody. Exercise was calling to me even though I was the complete opposite of an athlete at age 30. The call was extremely faint but was at least persistent. 12 years earlier I was at my prime playing tennis and basketball in high school, or what I thought was my prime.
"Let's give you a higher dose." This was the doctor's advice. The strength of Paxil was having no effect so naturally the dosage was not high enough. It was only a band aid though. The real problem was my attitude, which frankly sucked. Yes, I was extremely depressed but not helping matters any was my outlook on life. I was happy to play the victim and blame everyone and everything for my problems. Life is so much better and fulfilling when you realize you're the only one in control. Not your boss, government, spouse, parents.
You may be saying to yourself, "Hiott, this doesn't sound like you. Have you joined a hippy cult and drank their sanctimonious airy,fairy kool-aid? The answer is no. I am still my witty, sarcastic, at-times smarmy self with an extremely dry sense of humor that sometimes bites. The only kool-aid I've drank so far has electrolyte tabs in it.
I'm not writing this to give myself a pat on the back. My hope is that someone out there in trouble can read my post and realize that no matter how bad it gets or how dark your days become, there is hope. It hasn't been an easy road. I literally had to get mad at my state of being and I've learned that anger is better than despair. I'm so grateful that I did because I may not even be alive right now to write this. There is so much beauty in life that depression can mask.
Back to the year 2008. Biking more regularly with Renee now on the Silver Comet and around our house in Euharlee. Beautiful countryside out there and an intriguing swamp at the end of one particular country road. I remember that being a difficult bike ride. Also, there was one hill in a neighboring subdivision that was daunting at the time. Now I would probably bike up it no problem. Small and gradual changes over time. Even dragged Renee out on cold nights to bike around with some sort of light set up. Neighbors must have thought we were crazy. Not much has changed because I'm sure our new neighbors in Canton do too. It's okay though, I'm cool with it.
One day I had the idea to take my bike over to Pine Mountain in Cartersville on a Saturday because bikes are only allowed there on Wednesday and Saturday. I felt like I was going on an adventure. I'm pretty sure the climb up Pine Mountain was unbearable and I probably hiked a lot but the feeling of my blood pumping again was invigorating. Then came the downhill, which is where the fun began. Flying down the mountain I'm sure I had a huge grin on my face. ( In retrospect, too bad there isn't more flow at Pine Mountain. Just too many switchbacks.) After that ride, something triggered in me and I knew I had found something special, or it had found me. I called Renee and expressed my tired elation. I went back a few more Saturday's and met a guy there who was a much stronger biker. I tried to keep up with him on the climb but fell far behind. I remember his wise words, "Just keep going." When in a state of extreme pain, if someone tells you to keep going and it's the going that is causing you pain, your brain becomes confused and wants to melt. I'm glad I did keep going though. He also mentioned a place called Blanket's Creek near Woodstock and told me about the sweet trails that were there. It was a foreign concept to me at the time, that a dedicated park was built solely for bike trails. I thought that I would someday need to check out this place.
Also begin to bike the paved trail at Dellinger Park in Cartersville plus there was a monster of a hill across the highway from the park. I used to pretend I was in the Tour de France climbing up that hill. More weird looks from people in cars. Love it! Went to a bike shop in Cartersville called Cycle Therapy, which was appropriately named. There I bought my first mountain bike, a Giant Boulder hardtail.
"Perfect your skills on a hardtail first," they said. (I still ride a hardtail and consider my skills fairly perfected.)
They also mentioned a place called Tsali in North Carolina that was supposed to be a mountain biking mecca. Renee and I went. It was borderline religious for me. I felt a real communion with nature and myself. The utter silence of being out in the woods in the middle of nowhere was invigorating and gave me a much needed break from the constant noise of life. At this time, Renee also became hooked on mountain biking after renting a Specialized (top of the line) bike for her first mountain bike experience. She was riding a limousine and I was on a station wagon.
Next I ventured over to Blanket's Creek Mountain Biking trails in Canton. Talk about discovering a playground. I found myself riding through the woods on a bicycle. It was like being a kid again. Since that day, I have biked all over the South at countless trails but I am still a baby in the sport of mountain biking. There's still so much to learn.
Over the past few years, I have come to enjoy racing and even taking up trail running.
Soon I will enter my first triathlon just because I am that crazy and I want to explore what else is out there.
I have met some really cool people and seen awesome sights out on the trails. People are friendly and encouraging and there's generally a camaraderie that is unmatched. There's an unspoken, "Oh you're out here doing this too. Welcome to the crazy club." Riders respect each other but usually there is friendly competition even on casual rides. Dig it!
It's a great thing to consider myself an athlete again. Hopefully my dream of biking in Colorado will come true this year. Colorado is one of the biking meccas with gorgeous scenery from what I've seen and some sweet trails. I also hear they have some good climbing out there!
From all the pain and suffering I've gone through with biking to the euphoric highs that it takes me to, this has been an amazing journey so far and I feel that it has made me a better person. I can't wait to see what the next 5 years brings.
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